Tuesday, June 28, 2005

dreams and lost luggages

I'm in Boston now. Today has been an eventful day. I finally got to catch a possible path towards fufilling my dream of writing music and being able to master the guitar and drums.

Esther and I went to visit the Berklee School of music today. I checked the requirements for entry: two years of formal instruction in music and some basic theory knowledge. Apparently the two years in formal instruction can be substituted by self-learning as long as you get a recommendation from someone like, your music teacher, your band member, or maybe even your recording company.

Berklee seems like an awesome place to study at. The cool part is that it was founded in the 40s by a Jazz Musician so alot of the fundamental theory they teach is jazz-based. It's the only school in the world that offers contemporary music on the scale that they do. You can play hand percussion, the electric guitar etc. and still get a degree in Music production, Songwriting, Composing, Music theraphy, Music Business.

I know I sound like a running ad for the school, but, man... I'm really thinking of trying out for this maybe a year or so after I graduate. It will be doing yet another undergraduate degree, another four years and a huge sum of money but since i never got to finish with Cornell (and get a proper abroad education, so to speak) why not do this? why not persue my dream?

well, I guess there's still some time to figure it out. I've got another year more till I FINALLY graduate.

For now... it's just the holiday in NYC and Japan... and learning how to manage without my luggage which got lost in transportation.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Club Med, Phuket!

I had the most awesome fun, relaxing, fortifying, soul-restoring, entertaining, overall great time in Club Med, Phuket.

Lots of cute dudes, gourmet cuisine, friendly chill chill atmosphere, and great fun and activities, and lots of lazing by the pool...mmm...

Holiday trip to die for.

Thursday, June 16, 2005


My favorite colored of Jingu Sensei's 'Sawatdi' collection Posted by Hello

My Favorite BnW by Jingu Sensei - he told me he felt really awkward when taking this photo...having to sneak up behind a girl... haha.... Posted by Hello

Wonders of Disposable Cameras


Spaceships! by Sensei Jingu... he told me that he had taken this with a disposable camera. He had simply reused the camera, because of its wide angle lens...70mm he told me.... He opened it in his darkroom and put in black and white film. It's good because it's super-wide angle so you can snap away discreetly without anyone the wiser coz' you don't have to look through the lens. Apparently he did it many times too.. whoa! I would have never thought the lenses in disposable cameras could be worth using again! Posted by Hello

Resolution

Well, I had some resolution today. For some strange reason, I felt really perturbed about not being able to see Sensei Jingu again and was thinking about it the whole of yesterday. I called him up today and told him I had left my textbook at his place - he mentioned something about an 'email' but I didn't really understand what he was saying and I asked him if I could come by and pick up the book that I had left at his place.

So after work, I went over to pick up the book. And then I asked him for his email address which I had lost. And he said, 'but I sent you an email aleady... so it's ok' So apparently he had sent me an email which I hadn't yet checked.

"....Oooh.. ok..." I said outloud, while musing about what the email could possibly be about.

well, Sensei Jingu said, 'you haven't received it?'

'Umm.. no.. not yet'

'Well, come here...' he motioned as he settled down in front of his computer.

I was treated to a show of his pictures. Black and whites taken in Japan five years ago and a series of colored photos taken in Thailand also about 5/6 years back. For both the colored and black and whites, he asked me which one I liked best. Both featured children. Possibly a coincidence because most of his photos were not of people but of places and things.

He showed me a picture of a building with creepers growing on the side of it, and he said, 'this is wabi sabi also' and I was like, 'oh really, how?' and he explained that another photographer had seen the photo and said that the picture has a beauty or a kind of wabi sabi that only the person that took his photograph would be able to fully appreciate. And I was abit blur... 'so did that photographer also like the photo?' I asked.

He said, 'for example, the picture of the watering can you gave me, it's Wabi Sabi to you... only you can see it, but I can also understand that it is special to you' Yeah... I gave him a set of 8 postcards yesterday at my last lesson. And he liked the black and white photo of the Thai Bus the most. But I felt that the watering can pic conveyed the most wabi sabi. In fact, it was the watering can pictures I took that made me think of the words wabi sabi, which I had heard from long ago but never thought too much about.

He burnt me a CD of all the pictures to keep. I thought he did that coz' he knew that I was coming over to pick up the book. For some reason I thought that he had uploaded the pictures onto the internet and sent me the link through the email.

It's really strange. When I got back and check the email he sent me, I realized that he had already prepared the CD for me even before I came and was waiting for me to call him.

I feel so much better now that I've gone to pick up the book and talk to him again. It's like I've tied up some loose ends.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Jingu Sensei

Errgh. Got a massive sorethroat and am thoroughly sad and depressed. I think it's partly due to the lack of sleep I've had - did not get to bed until 4am yesterday. Must have been because of the Cha Yen or else the fact that I was making postcards till late at night.

Today I had my last lesson with Sensei Jingu. I don't know why I feel so sad about it. But I guess it's coz', everytime I went for lessons at his place, I felt like it was a space away from the hustle, bustle and craziness of life. I felt like I was breathing - breathing in the language and soul of a different culture slowly and surely - with no pressure no rush, but sheer enjoyment and ease. Like a child discovering the world.

And it also helped that Sensei Jingu is a kindred spirit. I haven't used that word for the longest time. But I could really 'connect' with him on a certain level.

He's really different from most people I've met... everything about him speaks of simplicity and a humble life. He lives in a shophouse in a quiet corner of an alleyway. Has six cats, speaks Lingara, has a tiny tiny half-working guitar that he bought off a small shop near his place, teaches Japanese to slum kids in Klong Toei at 4 dollars an hour. He's mild mannered and yet very congenial. Used to take black and whites and wash them in his own darkroom. He told me that he would lose track of time in his darkroom - because he'd be so absorbed with washing the pictures. And when he'd look out of his window, sunlight would stream in through a tiny crack and he'd be so surprised that it was already morning.

He has an entire book of A4 sized black and whites that he took of his wife ten years ago. He knows who Max Roach and Dave Brubeck and Paul Simon are. He went to the music capital in Africa (somewhere in Congo) very often in the past because of his love for African music. He loved soul, jazz, R&B and he discovered that it all came from Africa, so he went there. For the music.

He wanted to set up a music group in Klong Toei, but apparently one of the personnel there does not like him... so he's involved only to the extent of being a teacher.

I accidentally left my Thai-Jap Textbook at his place and I think I will go pick it up at his place. He asked me when I would be free for dinner because his wife and him wanted to host me and Ben (another of his students). I'm not sure, but I think tomorrow the people at work want to bring me out and on the day after too.. so I probably won't be able to make it for dinner with them tomorrow. I feel abit sad though. I would really have loved to have had dinner with them.

I'm going to miss lessons with him!

ps
I realize that the words 'simple' and 'humble' may not be fully appropriate for my description of him: going to Africa, listening to Jazz and taking photos and washing them are neither 'simple' nor 'humble' in conventional terms. But when I talk about 'simple' and 'humble' I describe it more in terms of his mannerism, his aura, his way of talking, his way of describing things. For example, I asked him what 'Wabi Sabi' meant, and he used a haiku to explain it to me: a very simple illustration of a frog jumping into an old pool and making a small splash as it jumped in. And for some reason - I felt this special appreciation/aesthetic pleasure even as he described it. Such a simple illustration. Yet it conveyed so much.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Pleasure

It's been a real busy past few days. My sis came up to visit... we had a good day together .. I brought her to this really cool cafe called 'Agalico' which she had been looking forward to visiting before she came up. Apparently the name 'Agalico' comes from a Sanskrit Buddhist word that means, 'to be alone'. Which our Thai Friend, A , who's really into Buddhism, explained to us.

It's my last week here. I'm wrapping things up here. Or so I believe. And preparing for my trip to NYC. It's been such a strange and yet lovely time here. I still don't understand alot of things that are happening to me, or around me. But, I guess it's all good.

I had a good lunch time conversation with my Japanese Colleagues today. They're all significantly older than me, but today we talked about happiness. And whether or not being rich guarantees happiness. Sensei Abe told me that she's seen so much of the world and has had so much opportunity as compared to the people who live in the slums. But it seems to her that quite a few of the people she knows in the slums are happy with their lives in spite of their relative 'lack' of riches or opportunity. They have an attitude to life, summarized in the Thai words, 'Phoo Yuu Phoo Kin' which means 'Enough to live by, enough to eat.'

I think it boils down to our expectations and learning how to be content in every situation. The same situation can cause us to feel good or bad, depending on the level of our expectations.

Said goodbye to Amy, Art, Sara and Heather today. Had dinner at my place... Khan made dinner for us and it was really yummy. And cosy.

Afterwhich we went to the 'Good Evening' restaurant/pub to listen to Art sing. It was pretty good... we were sharing our tastes in men.... Amy and I both like Jerry Seinfeld and Ben Stiller. Apparently alot of other people don't think they're cute? I don't know, Ben Stiller looks abit like a monkey at times (read: Zoolander) but have you seen him in 'Envy'? With the floppy black hair and blue eyes? mmm..mmm. =) I told them that I used to have the biggest crush on Arnold Schwarzenegger ever since I watched 'Terminator 2' and they were like... 'What??!?!?!' haha. I guess I just really liked the Terminator. His character was so beautiful.

Other cute guys we talked about

1) Edward Furlong in 'Terminator 2'
2) The main character that killed himself in 'Dead Poet's Society'
3) Brad Pitt (no need to elaborate)
4) Edward Norton (for his 'deep' character roles)

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Longing

there's something I'm longing for
I don't know what
There's something I'm searching for
I can't remember now
there's something I'm hoping for

my heart weighs me down.

memories and longings
mix, not belonging

I remember the sunshine on your face
looking through the window in my room
I remember the little hill on which we stood
as you told me the story of your youth
the leaves your Grandfather would rake in
and let you jump into

I remember smoking it up
that cold winter night
feeling nothing at first
only to start laughing alittle later
when you came back after basketball

I remember looking out at all of Vancouver
and you coming from behind
to hug me
that was the tenderest hug i've ever had

I remember walking along the streets at 3am.
Because the bus was not in service
and you told me how you used to save time by
running along the route from bus-stop to home
I remember thinking how novel and cool it was
even as I was freezing to death

I'm freezing to death now
in this mortal body
We live only once
and now it seems

I'm freezing to death

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

WAsh

Cover me
in your love
shield me
I need your grace

Tell me once again
That I don't have to hide my face
Tell me once again
that you love me, that you don't judge me

Because my instinct is to run
My instinct is to hide
My instinct is to try and make things right
without looking to you.

My instinct is to reason
to define what's right and wrong and
take the blame and bear it.

Burdens that I carry
That you said you would bear for me

Yet the cross is at a distance.

Where am I?

Walking at a distance.

away from you.

Oh Lord... how do I even begin to know you, love you, understand you.

When you seem so far away?

Sunday, June 05, 2005


On the street where I live Posted by Hello

BTS Skytrain - Quickest way to get around BK Posted by Hello

Slide Posted by Hello

She loves him Posted by Hello

Wheee!!! Posted by Hello

.... Posted by Hello

Guy on a Motorbike in Klong Toey Posted by Hello

Perch Posted by Hello

Chumchon Pattana (Development Community) Posted by Hello

Sunbathing Tortises! Posted by Hello

She was the fairest of them all Posted by Hello

hmmm... did the camera go off? Posted by Hello

Dad inspecting his soil stained hand in my favorite hangout - Benjasiri Park Posted by Hello

Lost child in Agalico's enchanted garden :) Posted by Hello

Thru' the looking glass Posted by Hello

Agalico - sunlight shading my ways, soothing my days Posted by Hello

Agalico's quaint, old world, white washed interiors.  Posted by Hello

Agalico's Enchanted Garden Posted by Hello

Wabi Sabi Posted by Hello

If I were

If I were and you weren't
whose to say what would happen

If I happened and you didn't
Maybe things would be so very different

If I was born on a ship
grew up on that ship and
never emerged from that ship

Touched only by music and once in life
by a beautiful face
that passed me by with 3000 others

Maybe I'd find that peace that eludes me
On that day when I knew what I wanted
What I could do
and what I couldn't

When things were settled in me.

Maybe I could be who I was meant to be.

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Rest Day

Oooh... I took another day off from work today. I think I'll need a job that gives me plenty of flexibility to think, reflect and catch up on life!

I went to yet another cool cafe. This one's called 'Le Gourmet' and .. let me tell you.. if there's one place that's value for money.. it's this place. It's at a quiet back corner of a Japanese strip of shops and supermarkets. I found out about the cafe from a Jap. Magazine that had been translated into Thai for the Bangkokians (and others who can read Thai i guess)

Anyway, what a cute little shop! There was glass table which had goldfishes swimming in it! Yes really! I wanted to sit on that table but then I realized there wasn't enough leg room and wasn't too conducive for me to study.

Anyway, the menu is like this, you can order a tea and it comes with a cake or chocolate of your choice (all the stuff is imported from France I think) and so I ordered a Chamomile Tea and some chocolate looking petite cake. And they brought those two items and an ice tea (welcome drink) and a plate of four macaroon (welcome dessert?) to my table.

Spent about 2 hours or so just working on my Japanese workbook. It was really hard finding words in those word mazes that were in there, had to keep on referring to the earlier pages ... now I know how to say and write 'Island' , 'duck' and 'wind' in Japanese. ... 'Shima', 'Ahiru', 'Kaze' respectively. HAhah.. my great acheivement of the day. So glad I decided to pay this rather expensive coffeeshop a visit instead of the nearby Gloria Jeans man. The number of cool coffeeshops and restaurants in Bangkok is simply endless - even the most intrepid explorer would have difficultly visiting all of them. Some of them are just so hidden away it's impossible to find, even with a map. Trust me, I tried finding this Cafe called 'To die for' on Thonglor street last week. I spent an hour trying to find it. It really was quite a mortal experience.

Dinner beckons.

Will update with some really cool pics of this other cafe I visited the other day called 'Agalico' mmm.... another piece of heaven.