DO NOT STAND AT MY GRAVE AND WEEP
Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glint on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you wake in the morning hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.
Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there, I did not die!
Mary Frye (1932)
Uncle Keeyong had asked that this poem should be read at his wake. I see him in my mind's eye along with all the images that this poem invokes... and I will remember him the next time I catch a glimpse of beauty.
I still can't help but cry alittle. If only for the fact that I will never see him in person again. However, I feel really comforted that he's with God now - words can never explain how much the reassurance and confirmation I got tonight at the wake(that he is safe with Jesus) has done for me. I feel that even in Uncle K's death, I've been brought closer to the love of God.
Today, during his wake, so many people shared about his generousity, his humour, his love for poetry and words, his idealism, his deliberately unruly mannerisms that were intended to, and did, shock many people.
Above all, what we remember about him is his love for people. He loved us and many other people from all different walks of life very well... as his good friend Kim Joo put it, 'How many of you have your hawkers come to visit you in the hospital?'
Looking at his life makes me want to cherish the people I love better - makes me want to be more generous with my money, makes me want to be friends with all kinds of different people, makes me want to read and spend more time in quiet meditation
... makes me want to be more real.
As the Pastor at tonight's wake who shared with me the verse from Matthew 7:21-23 says, 'it's the action (that counts).'
Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'
Thank you God for answering my prayers for Uncle K.
Saturday, July 30, 2005
Saturday, July 23, 2005
My first Earthquake ever
I was lying in Satomi's room today, reading Ernest Hemingway's 'across the river and into the trees' when I felt these really strong vibrations coming from the ceiling above. At first I thought the neighbors upstairs were doing some serious jumping around/having really intense skipping sessions... then the shaking came from below as well... for a good 10 seconds the shaking continued and then i realized that it was an earthquake!
Apparently, Japan has about 1000 earthquakes a year.. some of them too small to be discerned. Today's earthquake was 5.2 on the richter scale. The train system has stopped due to the earthquake and Satomi's brother is stuck on the Westside of Tokyo.
Satomi told me that if the earthquake was about 6 or 7 on the richter scale, there would be Tsunamis and all the buildings in the area would be destroyed by the waves or the earthquake - Shiba is next to the ocean.
Anyway, Satomi told me all this on our walk to the beach today, an hour or two after the earthquake. It's a good thing we decided to stay at home and rest today, otherwise we would still be stuck in tokyo at 10pm.
The beach was really lovely. The sky seemed alot bigger than any other sky I've seen in a long time. We walked right out on the pier.. it was about 700 metres out into the sea... on the right hand side the sun illuminated the sky and the sea and the water was calm... birds flew close to the water surface. Immediately on the right hand side of the pier, the water was dark and choppy while the sky was cloudy and overcast. It was such a contrast... almost as if we were in two different places at the same time with the pier acting as a boundary between the two places with such disparate scenarios.
The weather was really cool and there was a bracing breeze. I felt really happy and relaxed and found myself wishing that I lived somewhere more quiet and peaceful, like Shiba. As we walked back along the pier and saw some old men bringing in their nets and their catch for the day, I felt really lucky. I felt lucky to be able to stay with Satomi and catch a real glimpse of Japanese life in her family and in the neighborhood in which she lives.
Apparently, Japan has about 1000 earthquakes a year.. some of them too small to be discerned. Today's earthquake was 5.2 on the richter scale. The train system has stopped due to the earthquake and Satomi's brother is stuck on the Westside of Tokyo.
Satomi told me that if the earthquake was about 6 or 7 on the richter scale, there would be Tsunamis and all the buildings in the area would be destroyed by the waves or the earthquake - Shiba is next to the ocean.
Anyway, Satomi told me all this on our walk to the beach today, an hour or two after the earthquake. It's a good thing we decided to stay at home and rest today, otherwise we would still be stuck in tokyo at 10pm.
The beach was really lovely. The sky seemed alot bigger than any other sky I've seen in a long time. We walked right out on the pier.. it was about 700 metres out into the sea... on the right hand side the sun illuminated the sky and the sea and the water was calm... birds flew close to the water surface. Immediately on the right hand side of the pier, the water was dark and choppy while the sky was cloudy and overcast. It was such a contrast... almost as if we were in two different places at the same time with the pier acting as a boundary between the two places with such disparate scenarios.
The weather was really cool and there was a bracing breeze. I felt really happy and relaxed and found myself wishing that I lived somewhere more quiet and peaceful, like Shiba. As we walked back along the pier and saw some old men bringing in their nets and their catch for the day, I felt really lucky. I felt lucky to be able to stay with Satomi and catch a real glimpse of Japanese life in her family and in the neighborhood in which she lives.
Thursday, July 21, 2005
Harajuku and Enoki mushrooms wrapped in Bacon
Finally visited the famed Harajuku today.. and I can see why people make such a big fuss of it. Really big, fancy brand name boutiques next to bohemian cafes and indepedent kitsch fashion stores... there's alot of scope for imagination here and lots or opportunity for the creative juices to flow.
I took a picture of a single house along a strip of clothes stores. It just seemed so unique and incongruous among all the funky, jazzed up clothes stores around the area. Satomi and I headed to a sidewalk cafe later on and had the most scumptious cakes and watched the fashionable crowds pass us by.
By the time we had our fill of flipping through Vogue and Elle in the cafe and watching the world go by... it was already 5pm and we began to walk back to the train station to take the JR train back to Kemigawa Hama. It takes about an hour to get back from Tokyo.
Satomi's mom made the most yummy dinner tonight. She made Enoki mushrooms wrapped in Bacon, I had these in a Japanese Yakitori Bar in NYC and was raving about them to Satomi, so she suggested them when her mom asked her what she should cook for dinner. They were absolutely delectable; Satomi's mom also made these Gyoza with Shiso leaf inside and ... I'm quite certain I have never enjoyed any Gyozas better than those I had tonight.
So... as you can see, I'm getting very well fed here in Japan. But I'm not going to put on weight... coz' I went running today... haha... i explored around the area and I think japanese people have really learnt how to make the best of limited space. The phrase that would sum up how they have done this is ... 'small is beautiful'. From small plates, saucers and cups, to box like cars and Tiny gardens with beautifully manicured trees and compact but aesthetically pleasing homes.. Japan really does epitomize that phrase : 'small is beautiful' in more ways than one.
I took a picture of a single house along a strip of clothes stores. It just seemed so unique and incongruous among all the funky, jazzed up clothes stores around the area. Satomi and I headed to a sidewalk cafe later on and had the most scumptious cakes and watched the fashionable crowds pass us by.
By the time we had our fill of flipping through Vogue and Elle in the cafe and watching the world go by... it was already 5pm and we began to walk back to the train station to take the JR train back to Kemigawa Hama. It takes about an hour to get back from Tokyo.
Satomi's mom made the most yummy dinner tonight. She made Enoki mushrooms wrapped in Bacon, I had these in a Japanese Yakitori Bar in NYC and was raving about them to Satomi, so she suggested them when her mom asked her what she should cook for dinner. They were absolutely delectable; Satomi's mom also made these Gyoza with Shiso leaf inside and ... I'm quite certain I have never enjoyed any Gyozas better than those I had tonight.
So... as you can see, I'm getting very well fed here in Japan. But I'm not going to put on weight... coz' I went running today... haha... i explored around the area and I think japanese people have really learnt how to make the best of limited space. The phrase that would sum up how they have done this is ... 'small is beautiful'. From small plates, saucers and cups, to box like cars and Tiny gardens with beautifully manicured trees and compact but aesthetically pleasing homes.. Japan really does epitomize that phrase : 'small is beautiful' in more ways than one.
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
In Japan and pissed off about nasty neighbors in SG
I'm now using the computer in Sophia University or Jiu Tchi Dai Gaku, as they call it. It's been great staying with Satomi in Shiba. I love her room.. it's really quiet where she stays and I've been able to get more sleep and get over the jet-lag and sleepless nights that have been plauging me since NYC.
I went to Shibuya today and to be honest, i don't really like it. Too crowded and commercialized for my liking. But I guess that's Tokyo for you. I like the area around here better, it seems more laid back and much less crowded.
I'm feeling quite pissed off - I just got this email from my mom that my neighbors complained that our family had been a source of noise pollution for a long time eversince we moved in. What bullshit! Our next door neighbors have been a nasty source of air pollution since even before we moved in... they keep on burning their incense papers and stinking up all the other apartments in the vicinity. It's against HDB rulings to do that and they continually do it, regardless of the fact that the smoke permeates into other peoples houses and stinks up the place.
Ok, so granted, I played the guitar at 6am one morning... but so what.. .it's not like I do that all the time. In fact, I almost never do it! To be honest, I really dislike my neighbors. Makes my blood boil just to think of how mean and inconsiderate they have been in regards to their burning of incense papers and how intolerant they are over alittle bit of morning noise.
Also, I don't get why the HDB hasn't taken more serious measures against them because I have complained several times but it doesn't seem like anything is being done to ensure that they stop burning incense paper along the corridor. Seems like there's some kind of double standard going on here.
Grrr...
I went to Shibuya today and to be honest, i don't really like it. Too crowded and commercialized for my liking. But I guess that's Tokyo for you. I like the area around here better, it seems more laid back and much less crowded.
I'm feeling quite pissed off - I just got this email from my mom that my neighbors complained that our family had been a source of noise pollution for a long time eversince we moved in. What bullshit! Our next door neighbors have been a nasty source of air pollution since even before we moved in... they keep on burning their incense papers and stinking up all the other apartments in the vicinity. It's against HDB rulings to do that and they continually do it, regardless of the fact that the smoke permeates into other peoples houses and stinks up the place.
Ok, so granted, I played the guitar at 6am one morning... but so what.. .it's not like I do that all the time. In fact, I almost never do it! To be honest, I really dislike my neighbors. Makes my blood boil just to think of how mean and inconsiderate they have been in regards to their burning of incense papers and how intolerant they are over alittle bit of morning noise.
Also, I don't get why the HDB hasn't taken more serious measures against them because I have complained several times but it doesn't seem like anything is being done to ensure that they stop burning incense paper along the corridor. Seems like there's some kind of double standard going on here.
Grrr...
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Last few days in NYC
Yesterday Mich, Natascha and I went to watch 'Me, you and everyone we know.' It was a great movie with some really enduring parts. I liked the soundtrack better though. The movie was at West 4th Station, next to Greenwich village.
There was a basketball tournament going on in the courts opposite the theatre and as Natascha and I arrived early we stood on the outside and watched. It was great fun...all of the people on the team were black and really tall, save for this one white boy that was a good half head shorter than most of the people on the team.
Anyway, it was the grey against the black team and the grey team won by a score of 108 to 105. Both teams were really good, but the grey team kept getting these free throws for some reason. I reckon that's how they won.
I noticed that all of them were sponsored by Nike - I read in 'No Logo' that that's how Nike promotes it's image of 'cool', going to the streets, the common people and identifying what moves them and then leaving their imprint (the sponsored outfits) on them.
After the movie, we went for a drink at a cafe further down the road. It's called Cafe Reggio. Really cute little cafe with an old proprietor who is quite a character. There were a bunch of old men outside the cafe (and one 30'40ish black man sitting with them) One of the middle-aged men was playing his guitar... he did alot of cool numbers like, 'With a little help from my friends'
and other Beatles hits. I asked him if he could play any Paul Simon songs and he obliged by playing 'Me and Julio' and 'Mrs Robinson'. It was pretty cool, we were all singing along.
Natascha kept on egging me on to play and she told them that I could play and sing, so they started pressuring me to play too. And I obliged them.
I did the usual, like 'High and dry', 'Big Yellow Taxi' and 'I don't know how to love him' - the old man who played the guitar was like a walking dictionary of lyrics, he knew the lyrics to all the songs he played and all the songs I played to a fault, except 'High and dry' - the black man knew the lyrics to the chorus of 'High and dry' though.
Anyway, before we left, the old man played 'Sound of Silence' as a finale and goodbye. It was beautiful.
I'll miss New York.
There was a basketball tournament going on in the courts opposite the theatre and as Natascha and I arrived early we stood on the outside and watched. It was great fun...all of the people on the team were black and really tall, save for this one white boy that was a good half head shorter than most of the people on the team.
Anyway, it was the grey against the black team and the grey team won by a score of 108 to 105. Both teams were really good, but the grey team kept getting these free throws for some reason. I reckon that's how they won.
I noticed that all of them were sponsored by Nike - I read in 'No Logo' that that's how Nike promotes it's image of 'cool', going to the streets, the common people and identifying what moves them and then leaving their imprint (the sponsored outfits) on them.
After the movie, we went for a drink at a cafe further down the road. It's called Cafe Reggio. Really cute little cafe with an old proprietor who is quite a character. There were a bunch of old men outside the cafe (and one 30'40ish black man sitting with them) One of the middle-aged men was playing his guitar... he did alot of cool numbers like, 'With a little help from my friends'
and other Beatles hits. I asked him if he could play any Paul Simon songs and he obliged by playing 'Me and Julio' and 'Mrs Robinson'. It was pretty cool, we were all singing along.
Natascha kept on egging me on to play and she told them that I could play and sing, so they started pressuring me to play too. And I obliged them.
I did the usual, like 'High and dry', 'Big Yellow Taxi' and 'I don't know how to love him' - the old man who played the guitar was like a walking dictionary of lyrics, he knew the lyrics to all the songs he played and all the songs I played to a fault, except 'High and dry' - the black man knew the lyrics to the chorus of 'High and dry' though.
Anyway, before we left, the old man played 'Sound of Silence' as a finale and goodbye. It was beautiful.
I'll miss New York.
Sunday, July 10, 2005
Jersey
Just got back to NYC from New Jersey. Spent a day there with Michelle and her family. It was quite good. Being there and seeing her with her family just kinda reminded me of being in Vancouver and hanging out with my relatives there. It's such a F-A-M-I-L-Y feeling... and it's actually really nice.
Her brother Marvin, is a real sweetie too.. And her boyfriend, Paul... super nice. Actually picked me up from NYC and drove me all the way there. Too good.
Her brother Marvin, is a real sweetie too.. And her boyfriend, Paul... super nice. Actually picked me up from NYC and drove me all the way there. Too good.
Friday, July 08, 2005
Today
Dear God,
help me to walk in your way
help me to dream your dreams
and listen to you
If you whisper words of wisdom in my inner ear
will I listen Lord?
Help me to
Years go by
And I've been looking for someone who understands
My old friend.
You and I... we've known each other for so long...
It's time for you and I to get reaqquainted.
Father, take me on this journey.
I want to know you again
help me to walk in your way
help me to dream your dreams
and listen to you
If you whisper words of wisdom in my inner ear
will I listen Lord?
Help me to
Years go by
And I've been looking for someone who understands
My old friend.
You and I... we've known each other for so long...
It's time for you and I to get reaqquainted.
Father, take me on this journey.
I want to know you again
Thursday, July 07, 2005
Crushin'
I'm crushin' on ya'
did you know
I'm crushin' on ya but you're crushin on him
I don't mind so much
hangin out with ya
is enough fer me
I'm crushin on ya
how silly is that
I'm crushin on ya'
don't tell me not to do that
I'm crushin on ya
maybe coz' we sleep together
but never make love?
I'm crushin on ya
and i'm lovin you.
did you know
I'm crushin' on ya but you're crushin on him
I don't mind so much
hangin out with ya
is enough fer me
I'm crushin on ya
how silly is that
I'm crushin on ya'
don't tell me not to do that
I'm crushin on ya
maybe coz' we sleep together
but never make love?
I'm crushin on ya
and i'm lovin you.
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
East Village
Right now I'm staying at Gono's.. in East Village. It was his first day of work today and he looked really smart in his shirt and tie and suitcase. Hahah.... had a fleeting impression of what it could possibly feel like to be married and see one's husband going to work in the morning while you're still half-asleep in bed.
Anyways, the apartment felt pretty empty after he left and then I found myself thinking, 'hmm...i definitely want to work and not be a Tai tai' Yesterday night Gono and I had a very interesting discussion on Investment firms, Enron and outsourcing. The financial world really seems like a separate universe. It's all so intangible, like just numbers and knowledge and connections and politics, but yet it has so much repercussions and influence on people all over the world. Pretty mind boggling.
Finally going to meet up with Natascha today. Yesterday I was supposed to catch the 4th of July fireworks with her and her friends but she was so late in calling me I gave up waiting and went out with Kelvin Neu and his friends instead. It was lovely. THe fireworks! There were smiley faces and falling stardust. Fireworks bring back so many good memories. .. like the time I was in UK with Rach and joining in the festivities for the Queens Birthday, or the time in Phuket I caught New Years with almost stranger, mostly friend Khit then, also the time in Vancouver when me, Leonard, Heiks, Ian and some others were setting off fireworks on our own! And also on my 24th B-day when Leonard called and asked me to look out of the window- fireworks! I'm going to write a song titled just that.
Anyways, the apartment felt pretty empty after he left and then I found myself thinking, 'hmm...i definitely want to work and not be a Tai tai' Yesterday night Gono and I had a very interesting discussion on Investment firms, Enron and outsourcing. The financial world really seems like a separate universe. It's all so intangible, like just numbers and knowledge and connections and politics, but yet it has so much repercussions and influence on people all over the world. Pretty mind boggling.
Finally going to meet up with Natascha today. Yesterday I was supposed to catch the 4th of July fireworks with her and her friends but she was so late in calling me I gave up waiting and went out with Kelvin Neu and his friends instead. It was lovely. THe fireworks! There were smiley faces and falling stardust. Fireworks bring back so many good memories. .. like the time I was in UK with Rach and joining in the festivities for the Queens Birthday, or the time in Phuket I caught New Years with almost stranger, mostly friend Khit then, also the time in Vancouver when me, Leonard, Heiks, Ian and some others were setting off fireworks on our own! And also on my 24th B-day when Leonard called and asked me to look out of the window- fireworks! I'm going to write a song titled just that.
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
dreams and lost luggages
I'm in Boston now. Today has been an eventful day. I finally got to catch a possible path towards fufilling my dream of writing music and being able to master the guitar and drums.
Esther and I went to visit the Berklee School of music today. I checked the requirements for entry: two years of formal instruction in music and some basic theory knowledge. Apparently the two years in formal instruction can be substituted by self-learning as long as you get a recommendation from someone like, your music teacher, your band member, or maybe even your recording company.
Berklee seems like an awesome place to study at. The cool part is that it was founded in the 40s by a Jazz Musician so alot of the fundamental theory they teach is jazz-based. It's the only school in the world that offers contemporary music on the scale that they do. You can play hand percussion, the electric guitar etc. and still get a degree in Music production, Songwriting, Composing, Music theraphy, Music Business.
I know I sound like a running ad for the school, but, man... I'm really thinking of trying out for this maybe a year or so after I graduate. It will be doing yet another undergraduate degree, another four years and a huge sum of money but since i never got to finish with Cornell (and get a proper abroad education, so to speak) why not do this? why not persue my dream?
well, I guess there's still some time to figure it out. I've got another year more till I FINALLY graduate.
For now... it's just the holiday in NYC and Japan... and learning how to manage without my luggage which got lost in transportation.
Esther and I went to visit the Berklee School of music today. I checked the requirements for entry: two years of formal instruction in music and some basic theory knowledge. Apparently the two years in formal instruction can be substituted by self-learning as long as you get a recommendation from someone like, your music teacher, your band member, or maybe even your recording company.
Berklee seems like an awesome place to study at. The cool part is that it was founded in the 40s by a Jazz Musician so alot of the fundamental theory they teach is jazz-based. It's the only school in the world that offers contemporary music on the scale that they do. You can play hand percussion, the electric guitar etc. and still get a degree in Music production, Songwriting, Composing, Music theraphy, Music Business.
I know I sound like a running ad for the school, but, man... I'm really thinking of trying out for this maybe a year or so after I graduate. It will be doing yet another undergraduate degree, another four years and a huge sum of money but since i never got to finish with Cornell (and get a proper abroad education, so to speak) why not do this? why not persue my dream?
well, I guess there's still some time to figure it out. I've got another year more till I FINALLY graduate.
For now... it's just the holiday in NYC and Japan... and learning how to manage without my luggage which got lost in transportation.
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
Club Med, Phuket!
I had the most awesome fun, relaxing, fortifying, soul-restoring, entertaining, overall great time in Club Med, Phuket.
Lots of cute dudes, gourmet cuisine, friendly chill chill atmosphere, and great fun and activities, and lots of lazing by the pool...mmm...
Holiday trip to die for.
Lots of cute dudes, gourmet cuisine, friendly chill chill atmosphere, and great fun and activities, and lots of lazing by the pool...mmm...
Holiday trip to die for.
Thursday, June 16, 2005
Wonders of Disposable Cameras
Spaceships! by Sensei Jingu... he told me that he had taken this with a disposable camera. He had simply reused the camera, because of its wide angle lens...70mm he told me.... He opened it in his darkroom and put in black and white film. It's good because it's super-wide angle so you can snap away discreetly without anyone the wiser coz' you don't have to look through the lens. Apparently he did it many times too.. whoa! I would have never thought the lenses in disposable cameras could be worth using again!
Resolution
Well, I had some resolution today. For some strange reason, I felt really perturbed about not being able to see Sensei Jingu again and was thinking about it the whole of yesterday. I called him up today and told him I had left my textbook at his place - he mentioned something about an 'email' but I didn't really understand what he was saying and I asked him if I could come by and pick up the book that I had left at his place.
So after work, I went over to pick up the book. And then I asked him for his email address which I had lost. And he said, 'but I sent you an email aleady... so it's ok' So apparently he had sent me an email which I hadn't yet checked.
"....Oooh.. ok..." I said outloud, while musing about what the email could possibly be about.
well, Sensei Jingu said, 'you haven't received it?'
'Umm.. no.. not yet'
'Well, come here...' he motioned as he settled down in front of his computer.
I was treated to a show of his pictures. Black and whites taken in Japan five years ago and a series of colored photos taken in Thailand also about 5/6 years back. For both the colored and black and whites, he asked me which one I liked best. Both featured children. Possibly a coincidence because most of his photos were not of people but of places and things.
He showed me a picture of a building with creepers growing on the side of it, and he said, 'this is wabi sabi also' and I was like, 'oh really, how?' and he explained that another photographer had seen the photo and said that the picture has a beauty or a kind of wabi sabi that only the person that took his photograph would be able to fully appreciate. And I was abit blur... 'so did that photographer also like the photo?' I asked.
He said, 'for example, the picture of the watering can you gave me, it's Wabi Sabi to you... only you can see it, but I can also understand that it is special to you' Yeah... I gave him a set of 8 postcards yesterday at my last lesson. And he liked the black and white photo of the Thai Bus the most. But I felt that the watering can pic conveyed the most wabi sabi. In fact, it was the watering can pictures I took that made me think of the words wabi sabi, which I had heard from long ago but never thought too much about.
He burnt me a CD of all the pictures to keep. I thought he did that coz' he knew that I was coming over to pick up the book. For some reason I thought that he had uploaded the pictures onto the internet and sent me the link through the email.
It's really strange. When I got back and check the email he sent me, I realized that he had already prepared the CD for me even before I came and was waiting for me to call him.
I feel so much better now that I've gone to pick up the book and talk to him again. It's like I've tied up some loose ends.
So after work, I went over to pick up the book. And then I asked him for his email address which I had lost. And he said, 'but I sent you an email aleady... so it's ok' So apparently he had sent me an email which I hadn't yet checked.
"....Oooh.. ok..." I said outloud, while musing about what the email could possibly be about.
well, Sensei Jingu said, 'you haven't received it?'
'Umm.. no.. not yet'
'Well, come here...' he motioned as he settled down in front of his computer.
I was treated to a show of his pictures. Black and whites taken in Japan five years ago and a series of colored photos taken in Thailand also about 5/6 years back. For both the colored and black and whites, he asked me which one I liked best. Both featured children. Possibly a coincidence because most of his photos were not of people but of places and things.
He showed me a picture of a building with creepers growing on the side of it, and he said, 'this is wabi sabi also' and I was like, 'oh really, how?' and he explained that another photographer had seen the photo and said that the picture has a beauty or a kind of wabi sabi that only the person that took his photograph would be able to fully appreciate. And I was abit blur... 'so did that photographer also like the photo?' I asked.
He said, 'for example, the picture of the watering can you gave me, it's Wabi Sabi to you... only you can see it, but I can also understand that it is special to you' Yeah... I gave him a set of 8 postcards yesterday at my last lesson. And he liked the black and white photo of the Thai Bus the most. But I felt that the watering can pic conveyed the most wabi sabi. In fact, it was the watering can pictures I took that made me think of the words wabi sabi, which I had heard from long ago but never thought too much about.
He burnt me a CD of all the pictures to keep. I thought he did that coz' he knew that I was coming over to pick up the book. For some reason I thought that he had uploaded the pictures onto the internet and sent me the link through the email.
It's really strange. When I got back and check the email he sent me, I realized that he had already prepared the CD for me even before I came and was waiting for me to call him.
I feel so much better now that I've gone to pick up the book and talk to him again. It's like I've tied up some loose ends.
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
Jingu Sensei
Errgh. Got a massive sorethroat and am thoroughly sad and depressed. I think it's partly due to the lack of sleep I've had - did not get to bed until 4am yesterday. Must have been because of the Cha Yen or else the fact that I was making postcards till late at night.
Today I had my last lesson with Sensei Jingu. I don't know why I feel so sad about it. But I guess it's coz', everytime I went for lessons at his place, I felt like it was a space away from the hustle, bustle and craziness of life. I felt like I was breathing - breathing in the language and soul of a different culture slowly and surely - with no pressure no rush, but sheer enjoyment and ease. Like a child discovering the world.
And it also helped that Sensei Jingu is a kindred spirit. I haven't used that word for the longest time. But I could really 'connect' with him on a certain level.
He's really different from most people I've met... everything about him speaks of simplicity and a humble life. He lives in a shophouse in a quiet corner of an alleyway. Has six cats, speaks Lingara, has a tiny tiny half-working guitar that he bought off a small shop near his place, teaches Japanese to slum kids in Klong Toei at 4 dollars an hour. He's mild mannered and yet very congenial. Used to take black and whites and wash them in his own darkroom. He told me that he would lose track of time in his darkroom - because he'd be so absorbed with washing the pictures. And when he'd look out of his window, sunlight would stream in through a tiny crack and he'd be so surprised that it was already morning.
He has an entire book of A4 sized black and whites that he took of his wife ten years ago. He knows who Max Roach and Dave Brubeck and Paul Simon are. He went to the music capital in Africa (somewhere in Congo) very often in the past because of his love for African music. He loved soul, jazz, R&B and he discovered that it all came from Africa, so he went there. For the music.
He wanted to set up a music group in Klong Toei, but apparently one of the personnel there does not like him... so he's involved only to the extent of being a teacher.
I accidentally left my Thai-Jap Textbook at his place and I think I will go pick it up at his place. He asked me when I would be free for dinner because his wife and him wanted to host me and Ben (another of his students). I'm not sure, but I think tomorrow the people at work want to bring me out and on the day after too.. so I probably won't be able to make it for dinner with them tomorrow. I feel abit sad though. I would really have loved to have had dinner with them.
I'm going to miss lessons with him!
ps
I realize that the words 'simple' and 'humble' may not be fully appropriate for my description of him: going to Africa, listening to Jazz and taking photos and washing them are neither 'simple' nor 'humble' in conventional terms. But when I talk about 'simple' and 'humble' I describe it more in terms of his mannerism, his aura, his way of talking, his way of describing things. For example, I asked him what 'Wabi Sabi' meant, and he used a haiku to explain it to me: a very simple illustration of a frog jumping into an old pool and making a small splash as it jumped in. And for some reason - I felt this special appreciation/aesthetic pleasure even as he described it. Such a simple illustration. Yet it conveyed so much.
Today I had my last lesson with Sensei Jingu. I don't know why I feel so sad about it. But I guess it's coz', everytime I went for lessons at his place, I felt like it was a space away from the hustle, bustle and craziness of life. I felt like I was breathing - breathing in the language and soul of a different culture slowly and surely - with no pressure no rush, but sheer enjoyment and ease. Like a child discovering the world.
And it also helped that Sensei Jingu is a kindred spirit. I haven't used that word for the longest time. But I could really 'connect' with him on a certain level.
He's really different from most people I've met... everything about him speaks of simplicity and a humble life. He lives in a shophouse in a quiet corner of an alleyway. Has six cats, speaks Lingara, has a tiny tiny half-working guitar that he bought off a small shop near his place, teaches Japanese to slum kids in Klong Toei at 4 dollars an hour. He's mild mannered and yet very congenial. Used to take black and whites and wash them in his own darkroom. He told me that he would lose track of time in his darkroom - because he'd be so absorbed with washing the pictures. And when he'd look out of his window, sunlight would stream in through a tiny crack and he'd be so surprised that it was already morning.
He has an entire book of A4 sized black and whites that he took of his wife ten years ago. He knows who Max Roach and Dave Brubeck and Paul Simon are. He went to the music capital in Africa (somewhere in Congo) very often in the past because of his love for African music. He loved soul, jazz, R&B and he discovered that it all came from Africa, so he went there. For the music.
He wanted to set up a music group in Klong Toei, but apparently one of the personnel there does not like him... so he's involved only to the extent of being a teacher.
I accidentally left my Thai-Jap Textbook at his place and I think I will go pick it up at his place. He asked me when I would be free for dinner because his wife and him wanted to host me and Ben (another of his students). I'm not sure, but I think tomorrow the people at work want to bring me out and on the day after too.. so I probably won't be able to make it for dinner with them tomorrow. I feel abit sad though. I would really have loved to have had dinner with them.
I'm going to miss lessons with him!
ps
I realize that the words 'simple' and 'humble' may not be fully appropriate for my description of him: going to Africa, listening to Jazz and taking photos and washing them are neither 'simple' nor 'humble' in conventional terms. But when I talk about 'simple' and 'humble' I describe it more in terms of his mannerism, his aura, his way of talking, his way of describing things. For example, I asked him what 'Wabi Sabi' meant, and he used a haiku to explain it to me: a very simple illustration of a frog jumping into an old pool and making a small splash as it jumped in. And for some reason - I felt this special appreciation/aesthetic pleasure even as he described it. Such a simple illustration. Yet it conveyed so much.
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
Pleasure
It's been a real busy past few days. My sis came up to visit... we had a good day together .. I brought her to this really cool cafe called 'Agalico' which she had been looking forward to visiting before she came up. Apparently the name 'Agalico' comes from a Sanskrit Buddhist word that means, 'to be alone'. Which our Thai Friend, A , who's really into Buddhism, explained to us.
It's my last week here. I'm wrapping things up here. Or so I believe. And preparing for my trip to NYC. It's been such a strange and yet lovely time here. I still don't understand alot of things that are happening to me, or around me. But, I guess it's all good.
I had a good lunch time conversation with my Japanese Colleagues today. They're all significantly older than me, but today we talked about happiness. And whether or not being rich guarantees happiness. Sensei Abe told me that she's seen so much of the world and has had so much opportunity as compared to the people who live in the slums. But it seems to her that quite a few of the people she knows in the slums are happy with their lives in spite of their relative 'lack' of riches or opportunity. They have an attitude to life, summarized in the Thai words, 'Phoo Yuu Phoo Kin' which means 'Enough to live by, enough to eat.'
I think it boils down to our expectations and learning how to be content in every situation. The same situation can cause us to feel good or bad, depending on the level of our expectations.
Said goodbye to Amy, Art, Sara and Heather today. Had dinner at my place... Khan made dinner for us and it was really yummy. And cosy.
Afterwhich we went to the 'Good Evening' restaurant/pub to listen to Art sing. It was pretty good... we were sharing our tastes in men.... Amy and I both like Jerry Seinfeld and Ben Stiller. Apparently alot of other people don't think they're cute? I don't know, Ben Stiller looks abit like a monkey at times (read: Zoolander) but have you seen him in 'Envy'? With the floppy black hair and blue eyes? mmm..mmm. =) I told them that I used to have the biggest crush on Arnold Schwarzenegger ever since I watched 'Terminator 2' and they were like... 'What??!?!?!' haha. I guess I just really liked the Terminator. His character was so beautiful.
Other cute guys we talked about
1) Edward Furlong in 'Terminator 2'
2) The main character that killed himself in 'Dead Poet's Society'
3) Brad Pitt (no need to elaborate)
4) Edward Norton (for his 'deep' character roles)
It's my last week here. I'm wrapping things up here. Or so I believe. And preparing for my trip to NYC. It's been such a strange and yet lovely time here. I still don't understand alot of things that are happening to me, or around me. But, I guess it's all good.
I had a good lunch time conversation with my Japanese Colleagues today. They're all significantly older than me, but today we talked about happiness. And whether or not being rich guarantees happiness. Sensei Abe told me that she's seen so much of the world and has had so much opportunity as compared to the people who live in the slums. But it seems to her that quite a few of the people she knows in the slums are happy with their lives in spite of their relative 'lack' of riches or opportunity. They have an attitude to life, summarized in the Thai words, 'Phoo Yuu Phoo Kin' which means 'Enough to live by, enough to eat.'
I think it boils down to our expectations and learning how to be content in every situation. The same situation can cause us to feel good or bad, depending on the level of our expectations.
Said goodbye to Amy, Art, Sara and Heather today. Had dinner at my place... Khan made dinner for us and it was really yummy. And cosy.
Afterwhich we went to the 'Good Evening' restaurant/pub to listen to Art sing. It was pretty good... we were sharing our tastes in men.... Amy and I both like Jerry Seinfeld and Ben Stiller. Apparently alot of other people don't think they're cute? I don't know, Ben Stiller looks abit like a monkey at times (read: Zoolander) but have you seen him in 'Envy'? With the floppy black hair and blue eyes? mmm..mmm. =) I told them that I used to have the biggest crush on Arnold Schwarzenegger ever since I watched 'Terminator 2' and they were like... 'What??!?!?!' haha. I guess I just really liked the Terminator. His character was so beautiful.
Other cute guys we talked about
1) Edward Furlong in 'Terminator 2'
2) The main character that killed himself in 'Dead Poet's Society'
3) Brad Pitt (no need to elaborate)
4) Edward Norton (for his 'deep' character roles)
Thursday, June 09, 2005
Longing
there's something I'm longing for
I don't know what
There's something I'm searching for
I can't remember now
there's something I'm hoping for
my heart weighs me down.
memories and longings
mix, not belonging
I remember the sunshine on your face
looking through the window in my room
I remember the little hill on which we stood
as you told me the story of your youth
the leaves your Grandfather would rake in
and let you jump into
I remember smoking it up
that cold winter night
feeling nothing at first
only to start laughing alittle later
when you came back after basketball
I remember looking out at all of Vancouver
and you coming from behind
to hug me
that was the tenderest hug i've ever had
I remember walking along the streets at 3am.
Because the bus was not in service
and you told me how you used to save time by
running along the route from bus-stop to home
I remember thinking how novel and cool it was
even as I was freezing to death
I'm freezing to death now
in this mortal body
We live only once
and now it seems
I'm freezing to death
I don't know what
There's something I'm searching for
I can't remember now
there's something I'm hoping for
my heart weighs me down.
memories and longings
mix, not belonging
I remember the sunshine on your face
looking through the window in my room
I remember the little hill on which we stood
as you told me the story of your youth
the leaves your Grandfather would rake in
and let you jump into
I remember smoking it up
that cold winter night
feeling nothing at first
only to start laughing alittle later
when you came back after basketball
I remember looking out at all of Vancouver
and you coming from behind
to hug me
that was the tenderest hug i've ever had
I remember walking along the streets at 3am.
Because the bus was not in service
and you told me how you used to save time by
running along the route from bus-stop to home
I remember thinking how novel and cool it was
even as I was freezing to death
I'm freezing to death now
in this mortal body
We live only once
and now it seems
I'm freezing to death
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
WAsh
Cover me
in your love
shield me
I need your grace
Tell me once again
That I don't have to hide my face
Tell me once again
that you love me, that you don't judge me
Because my instinct is to run
My instinct is to hide
My instinct is to try and make things right
without looking to you.
My instinct is to reason
to define what's right and wrong and
take the blame and bear it.
Burdens that I carry
That you said you would bear for me
Yet the cross is at a distance.
Where am I?
Walking at a distance.
away from you.
Oh Lord... how do I even begin to know you, love you, understand you.
When you seem so far away?
in your love
shield me
I need your grace
Tell me once again
That I don't have to hide my face
Tell me once again
that you love me, that you don't judge me
Because my instinct is to run
My instinct is to hide
My instinct is to try and make things right
without looking to you.
My instinct is to reason
to define what's right and wrong and
take the blame and bear it.
Burdens that I carry
That you said you would bear for me
Yet the cross is at a distance.
Where am I?
Walking at a distance.
away from you.
Oh Lord... how do I even begin to know you, love you, understand you.
When you seem so far away?
Sunday, June 05, 2005
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