Hope

Today I work up, feeling really lame about being me and I was praying and then I heard God telling me, 'let me love you...'.

And again, I thought of my time at Hannover, Germany, with Micha, Fanny and their 9 month old baby Kajsa. It was such a special time for me: the love and tenderness that they had for each other and their child just did wonders for my heart.

Images of Micha bathing Kajsa, feeding her and just gently caring for her came to mind. I still remember how we wanted to go out for dinner... Micha and I left alittle later so that Kajsa could settle down and fall asleep, Satomi and Fanny left earlier so as to reserve the table for us at the restaurant.

When Kajsa had finally fallen asleep. Micha and I got on our bikes and cycled all the way to the restaurant, but not without taking along the baby phone (which would sound an alarm if Kajsa started crying badly) So we had a nice 12 minute cycle to the restaurant, which was so warm and inviting and dimly lit when we arrived... it was such a relief to be finally seated and to look at the menu and chose what to eat! 5 minutes into our anticipation of gastronomical pleasure, the baby phone starting buzzing. Micha got up and left almost immediately telling us not to order for him because he might have to stay with Kajsa the whole night.

Well, we ordered food for ourselves, keeping our fingers crossed about whether or not Micha would be able join us for dinner. And eventually he got back because Kajsa had managed to fall soundly asleep this time. She slept straight through our dinner and we had a lovely dinner of mushroom starters, german spatzle and delectable desserts. But all the time i was just so touched and amazed at his love for Kajsa. I don't know many Dad's that are that in touch with their babies, who'd be willing to put down everything they're doing at the drop of a hat for their child.

But I was just reminded that God, my heavenly father above loves me so deeply and so much more than how Micha could ever love Kajsa, or any other human parent their child. I was reminded too that that he will bring healing into my life, I just have to trust him and let him love me, the way a child lets her father love her.