You, Me

If you will be you
So I will be me
If you will glimmer
And shine and herald
All the pieces that make
Our existence more than brine
I’ll laugh and listen
I’ll bid you my sire
I’ll take you into my fire.

The Beloved

Four walls,
Encased
in the living, brooding black
Hot, crackling fury writhes in the vacuum
I crave, I thirst,
I am crawling on my knees

but

Your words,
they break me
They feel like
shattered glass
and the screaming hammer
against the door

A child, blithely
Bouncing, up and down
Up and down
on the mattress.
Even as the world
Crumbles and implodes in the universe of
Her heart

and

The door is marked
With the deep round imprints of unmitigated
Rage.

Give me space not
Broken nights harnessed
By the gnawing, nameless
Certainty that

Tomorrow,

I’ll see the image
Of your back
Walking out on us again

…

Brother, when you read the news
At the dining table, sunlight filters
Thru’ thru my mind

You sit quietly,
in silent enjoyment
That picture fills my heart
And the noise clears my head.

I travel through the
Amazon,
a myriad maze,
Lurid jungle book

The endless tirade,
Those tin gods
Those yells,
Those lusty, knowing voices that
Insist, persist on telling me
With such intense glee

“You’re Wrong
That’s your name
You’re Wrong
You’re Wrong

wash the dishes
clean the house
scrub up, work hard,

SMILE,

Even harder,
Slam down the competition
With your grades,
If you can…

Shut your mouth, … and maybe
Just maybe
Things will get better

But only
if you can
learn how to be good,
can’t you learn how to be
like all your friends?
Can’t you learn how to be
Like them?

This house of cards
Will stand maybe
If you SHAPE UP
If you BEHAVE
If you ERASE YOURSELF
And BECOME LIKE THEM
YOU SICK,
FUCK UP,
YOU PATHETIC LITTLE PIECE OF…”

are silenced.

…

I stumble out
onto a vast green field.

Blinded by the burning sun,
assaulted by the sudden scent
fisticuffs of daffodils
dappling the green, green… green grass,
Fear screams in impotent protest
Then fades away,

And the flowers
wink in quiet
acknowledgement

as if to say ...



….

I breathe deep,
bow down low to a single daffodil
Hold it between my palms
And kiss its thirsty face,
Beauty explodes

Reservoirs of tears,
Engulf me,
Filling the ache.
Reminding me, again
That I am,

The Beloved.

Borrowed Time

Waking past
these early hours
I wonder how you think
and feel

The witching hours
have come and gone
and now we are left alone
so alone

Which way you turn
and how you'll learn
to play the game
and dance the steps
down these narrow paths
as I watch the hours
steal away
on borrowed time

Do what you do
to live, to live
only keep me close and
hold me tight.

As I watch the hours
steal away
on borrowed time.

Notes From a Post-It Note

My childhood friend gave me stationery from Japan about two years ago. Among the stationery I got is a very nifty post-it note stack. On the top left-hand corner of this stationery is a cheeky black cat with big eyes and pointy ears. On the bottom right-hand corner is a little cartoon girl in red holding a red balloon. Next to the cat is a succinct statement that sums up exactly how I feel right now.

"I wish I were a cat. He always enjoys his freedom, taking a nap, walking around, and taking a nap again. Sometimes he makes mischievous tricks on sparrows."

=)

Oh Beautiful Dreamer

Oh Beautiful Dreamer, what is wasted time
But hours submerged ‘neath the intrepid waves
Of your consciousness lapping
The ebb and flow of your wakefulness fleeting

Oh Star-dusted Dreamer
Can we argue with our destinies?
Can we delay the appointed hour
And can music roll away our madness?
Of tin-pan saucers and sauce-panned eyes
Of baby’s breath into a video-camera screen.
We live. We Dream. We Make. We Believe

You and I both. Carving out our spaces in the
Eternal density we call Time.

Memories…will they rain down
On me. By the time I hit thirty?
Will they thrive on
Lonely nights
And silent walks
Or will they trickle down
Like water in my hair?

Solitude.. to learn to
Love my company
And savor the vaulting expanse:
This consciousness You give to me.

Words, to pierce my heart
And to sting my eyes with tears:
Salty drops igniting
The glowing embers
of my soul.

Spirit, to cleave to You
Water, over which to walk to
You, through the storm.

And music…

Music to hear the lovesong
That You sing over me.