Longing

there's something I'm longing for
I don't know what
There's something I'm searching for
I can't remember now
there's something I'm hoping for

my heart weighs me down.

memories and longings
mix, not belonging

I remember the sunshine on your face
looking through the window in my room
I remember the little hill on which we stood
as you told me the story of your youth
the leaves your Grandfather would rake in
and let you jump into

I remember smoking it up
that cold winter night
feeling nothing at first
only to start laughing alittle later
when you came back after basketball

I remember looking out at all of Vancouver
and you coming from behind
to hug me
that was the tenderest hug i've ever had

I remember walking along the streets at 3am.
Because the bus was not in service
and you told me how you used to save time by
running along the route from bus-stop to home
I remember thinking how novel and cool it was
even as I was freezing to death

I'm freezing to death now
in this mortal body
We live only once
and now it seems

I'm freezing to death